I can oblige him on the first three items, but the rest--well--he's on his own for those and I just don't want to know! That list has had me chuckling all day!
Sam has gotten interested in Elvis for some reason. Elvis is our water turtle. We've had him about 13 years! Ems found him in a local pond when he was less than an inch long! He's rather interesting, but dirty, dirty, dirty! Turtles poop a lot and I've gone through quite a few aquarium filters as a result! I found a good one that is clogged right now. Bottom line is that we have to clean the tank. Once that's done, I can add some fish--for a snack--and plants. When we tell Elvis that he is having some friends for dinner, we mean it literally! We did have another turtle named Fred. He was a mud turtle and not very nice. He didn't last long. I'm not sure exactly what made him sick, but we found him floating aimlessly in the tank, dead. Elvis is rather personable. He sticks his head up when you talk to him like he's listening! The turtles were named after dead rock stars. That was Em's idea. Anyway, Sam has been getting on top of the tank daily. I don't know what got her into this after all these years. She's been here for 7 years, so Elvis is nothing new to her!